November 3rd, 2007
My eyes is drying out… tears are stop flowing from my eyes… is not that I’d stop crying… I still can cry any moment I want… is not that I’m not sad anymore… maybe I’d already accept everything… but maybe I’d just lost myself… my heart still feels as painful as being stabbed… I’m still waiting confirmation from my sister… I don’t dare to call her and ask… it’s really a painful moment to cross over… will I be alright? I will… but I wonder when will it be… he bring so much meaning to me… and now… he is leaving… it is the most heart breaking moment in my life so far… sigh… this is the very first time that I feel truly regret for coming all the way to Sabah here for study… if I’m able to choose again knowing things will end like this, I’ll choose to give up everything I have now… I’ll choose not to come to here… and be by his side as long as I can… don’t have the mood to study, but still need to do so because I’m having exam… now my mind is just keep on thinking of him for every single moment… it’s really a struggle for me… if I have a chance to meet him one last time, I’ll tell him… I’m so sorry… for not being there for him… for not able to take good care of him… for… everything… even if I don’t have such chance… I’ll say it out here… and a lot of word of forgiveness, thankful… I owe him more than what he owed me…
My eyes is drying out… tears are stop flowing from my eyes… is not that I’d stop crying… I still can cry any moment I want… is not that I’m not sad anymore… maybe I’d already accept everything… but maybe I’d just lost myself… my heart still feels as painful as being stabbed… I’m still waiting confirmation from my sister… I don’t dare to call her and ask… it’s really a painful moment to cross over… will I be alright? I will… but I wonder when will it be… he bring so much meaning to me… and now… he is leaving… it is the most heart breaking moment in my life so far… sigh… this is the very first time that I feel truly regret for coming all the way to Sabah here for study… if I’m able to choose again knowing things will end like this, I’ll choose to give up everything I have now… I’ll choose not to come to here… and be by his side as long as I can… don’t have the mood to study, but still need to do so because I’m having exam… now my mind is just keep on thinking of him for every single moment… it’s really a struggle for me… if I have a chance to meet him one last time, I’ll tell him… I’m so sorry… for not being there for him… for not able to take good care of him… for… everything… even if I don’t have such chance… I’ll say it out here… and a lot of word of forgiveness, thankful… I owe him more than what he owed me…
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